The revolution will not be sanitized (lozzy_pop) wrote in mama_rage,
The revolution will not be sanitized

Ignorance rant

So my aunt is 3 weeks more pregnant than I am.
A year or 2 before she had her first I lost a daughter at 18 weeks pregnant, she told me it didn't matter because I was 16 and to get over it and then went and had a daughter.
This wouldn't normally bother me as lots of my close friends have had babies (many of them girls) in that time as has my housemate.
It's been years, stuff like that tends to happen.
But when I tell my aunt I want to breastfeed for as long as possible, like at least 2 years she starts going on about how it's child molestation and breastmilk has no superior properties to anything after the first 6 months (which explains why now when I put breastmilk on rashes, sores etc they get better much more quickly and why when my housemate expresses breastmilk for her 7 and 3 year old sons when they are sick with a tummy bug it mysteriously goes away quite easily).
When I say "well who knows maybe we'll even go 5 years".
Then she says to me that it is much too hard work and I will never stick with it and I will 'understand' when I am finally doing it (not realising that this just makes me more determined and that hey thanks for the compassion, this is my 5th fucking pregnancy, I started breeding long before you lady).
After this my whole family gets in on it agreeing with the child molestation accusations towards extended breastfeeders, about how it's only good for 6 months (last time I checked my boobs didn't have a use by date) and how it is such a drag and a chore and formula is so much easier anyway.
Next when I say that I am not getting a cot/crib whatever as it seems a waste of money that I don't have and I have a huge bed that only I sleep in, it's easier to feed from and I would feel more comfortable with my child in with me and contrary to popular belief you can have a sex life while co-sleeping, look at the millions of parents who do it.
And how I wouldn't let me child cry it out anyway.
They start in about how it makes your children less independant, how they need to mature their lungs, how clingy they will be, how I will never get my bed or my life back.
No matter what I say or how many midwifery books I read them they never fucking listen and are totally rude and treat me like i'm just a brainless pregnant git.
I do not know why this bothers me so much as I live in another state to them and rarely contact them anymore, but those times I do have to see or talk to them are just so fucking painful and makes me want to rant and scream and knock some heads off.
Who refuses to let their 2 yr old in to their bed for a snuggle after a bad dream and instead calls them manipulative and makes them sleep on the floor at the end of the bed?
Yes, my aunt.
Now that is child abuse.
Than they assume I slept with a boy to get pregnant and I just can't be assed explaining the in and outs of self insemination.
Start on about the whole 'phase of lesbianism' that has lasted since coming out at age 15 many years ago but that no matter how much they pretend they accept and understand it they just don't.
My girlfriend and I recently broke up as she was very abusive but before we did we went to a family function.
Everyone in the family knew that she was my partner, they have met her on several occasions, knew we mostly lived together, had been together for a year, they all knew.
Yet my aunt said something about me being a single mother.
How the fuck am I single if I have a fucking partner?
Biology does not make a parent, some sperm does not make a parent.
She is my absent abusive deadbeat babymama no different to babydaddy.
But I had no support over our breakup because she doesn't produce sperm.
There is more and I could go on and on forever.
I think I should just stop talking to these people before I kill them.
I don't mind people who want to parent differently to me but people who tell me that breastfeeeding and co-sleeping is wrong and I am fucking up my child by being a lesbian, those people piss me off.
Also my veganism is bad because if I don't give my kid cows milk they will SUFFER.
I don't look like a 'real' mother (tatts, piercings, coloured hair and riot grrl clothing), i'm not rich like a mother, not 35 like a mother, not married like a mother, way too activisty and I am a whore, literally.
I have housemates and we do believe it takes a village to raise kids, we are all very close and like family to each other and I do not see why we should have to defend this?
Why am I meant to be my child's only nurturer and provider just because I birthed her?

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